http://www.birthroutes.com/2010/05/pitocin-not-approved-by-the-fda-for-elective-or-nonmedical-inductions-.html

May 30, 2010 - Pitocin not approved by the FDA for elective (or non-medical inductions).

PITOCIN (oxytocin) Mnfr: MONARCH PHARMACEUTICALS, INC

PITOCIN has been approved by the FDA for the medical induction and stimulation of labor. Pitocin has not approved for the elective induction or stimulation of labor.

Source: FDA APPROVED OBSTETRICS DRUGS: THEIR EFFECTS ON MOTHER AND BABY

Which means, that the common use of Pitocin in hospitals for inducing a mother post dates (without medical reason) is highly dangerous. The risks are too high for a non-medical induction. The use pitocin in labor to ’speed things up’ is not FDA approved. You can refuse pitocin augmentation unless medical indicated that there is a reason other than someone’s bed space and watch ticking.

“Oxytocin crosses the placenta and enters the blood and brain of the fetus within seconds or minutes. There appears to be a correlation between fetal exposure to oxytocin and autism in the exposed offspring.”

The manufacturer of oxytocin warns the provider in the package insert:

“Maternal deaths due to hypertensive episodes, subarachnoid hemorrhage, rupture of the uterus, fetal deaths and permanent CNS or brain damage of the infant due to various causes have been reported to be associated with the use of parenteral oxytocic drugs for induction of labor or for augmentation in the first and second stages of labor.”

Because oxytocin is used so commonly to stimulate labor we note here that, in addition to the more benign effects of uterine stimulants, such as nausea and vomiting, the manufacturer of Pitocin (oxytocin) points out in its package insert that oxytocin can cause:

(a) maternal hypertensive episodes (abnormally high blood pressure)

(b) subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding in area surrounding spinal cord)

(c) anaphylactic reaction (exaggerated allergic reaction)

(d) postpartum hemorrhage (uterine hemorrhage following birth)

(e) cardiac arrhythmias (non-normal heart rate)

(f) fatal afibrinogenemia (loss of blood clotting fibrin)

(g) premature ventricular contraction (non-normal heart function)

(h) pelvic hematoma (blood clot in the pelvic region)

(i) uterine hypertonicity (excessive uterine muscle tone)

(j) uterine spasm (violent, distorted contraction of the uterus)

(k) tetanic contractions (spasmodic uterine contractions)

(l) uterine rupture

(m) increased blood loss

(n) convulsions (violent, involuntary muscle contraction(s).

(o) coma (unconsciousness that cannot be aroused)

(p) fatal oxytocin-induced water intoxication (undue retention of water marked by vomiting, depression of temperature convulsions, and coma and may end in death.

Fetal and Newborn Effects

The following adverse effects of maternally administered oxytocin have been reported in the fetus or infant:

(a) bradycardia (slow fetal heart rate)

(b) premature ventricular contractions and other arrhythmias (non-normal heart function)

(c) low 5 minute Apgar scores (non-physiologic neurologic evaluation)

(d) neonatal jaundice (excess bilirubin in the blood of the neonate.

(e) neonatal retinal hemorrhage (hemorrhage within the innermost covering of the eyeball)

(f) permanent central nervous system or brain damage

(g) fetal death

“Uterine stimulants which foreshorten the oxygen-replenishing intervals between contractions, by making the contractions too long, too strong, or too close together, increase the likelihood that fetal brain cells will die.

The situation is analogous to holding an infant under the surface of the water, allowing the infant to come to the surface to gasp for air, but not to breathe. All of these effects increase the possibility of neurologic insult to the fetus. No one really knows how often these adverse effects occur, because there is no law or regulation in any country which requires the doctor to report an adverse drug reaction to the FDA.

These findings underscore the importance of the midwife managing the woman’s labor in a way that will avoid the need for Pitocin and the pain relieving drugs that are often administered to help the woman cope with the contractions intensified by Pitocin.

DELAYED LONG TERM EFFECTS: There have been no adequate and well-controlled studies to determine the delayed, long-term effects of Pitocin on pregnant women, or on the neurologic, as well as general, development of children exposed to Pitocin in utero or during lactation.”

Here is manufacturers insert including warnings and uses of Pitocin.

Were you aware that the drug so commonly used on pregnant women without medical indication is not FDA approved?

The link to the FDA page: http://www.aimsusa.org/obstetricdrugs.htm

And the manufacturers insert is here…
http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2007/018261s028lbl.pdf

Note from Karen on non-medical use of Pitocin: One thing this article doesn’t talk about is the emotional and psychological affect on babies of the non-medical, routine use of this drug. We have lost contact with the importance of the natural rhythms of birth and how vitally they are connected to the natural daily rhythms of life. Being born without medical interference gives us a very important imprint for life that we need. Navigating through our birth, both drug and intervention free, provides us with these important imprints; birth is a very important transition that sets us up for life. In a normal, natural labor the contractions build, increasing in intensity, they go up and peak, and then they come down the other side. There is a natural space in between each contraction in which both mom and baby can rest and gather their strength for the next wave. This space is very important for rest and resourcing during labor. When Pitocin is administered this natural cycle is lost, and contractions are unrelenting, one after the other, with no rest. This is what makes it both more painful for the birthing mom, and traumatic for baby. Because makes it more painful, mom will often be offered more drugs to kill the pain of the effects of the first drug!

Kids born with Pitocin often have this kind of unrelenting quality in their energy/nervous system and therefore in the way that they approach life. This can be exhausting for the child and his parents, and is an expression of the drug and possible birth trauma combined. It’s that feeling of someone coming at you with no space for anything else to happen. It has a rev in it too, a fast moving energy. Drugs leave imprints that are an expression of both the character of the drug, and the way it expresses itself and impacts the recipients. They impact our nervous systems, and affect our perceptions of what life is about. Could it be that there is a link between this drug and ADHD/ADD??

Pitocin interferes with the natural healthy imprinting that occurs in birthing. This drug also affects the way our children can negotiate transitions, which is a very crucial part of life. We are negotiating transitions all the time, getting up, leaving the house, going to school, coming home, moving from one activity to another, so this is very important. As birth is a major transition, how we are birthed has a huge affect on the way we handle transitions. Your child may have a tough time navigating transitions if they had Pitocin in their birth. If a mom is induced with Pitocin she will often end up with many other harmful non-medically indicated interventions, even ending up with a c-section. Induction increases your chances of a c-section. These all add to the imprints and birth trauma. Even if you only consider the medical problems with this drug, as in the above article, you would have to decide that it should be refused unless clearly medically indicated. Make sure that you know what medically indicated means if you are venturing into a medical environment for your birthing, because many drugs and interventions are routinely offered when not needed at all. Remember that any drug or intervention you say yes to is going to have a big impact on your baby too, and on your experience of having an empowering birth. When medical interventions are really needed, they are great! It is however important to understand that if you are going into hospital to have your baby, that you are going to be offered the medical model of birth, and that is all about interventions and drugs, and non-stop interference in the natural process of birthing. The doctor will be in charge, not you, and it takes a lot of research and preparation to come up against this system once in the hospital, although it can be done. Having a doula can really help with this if you wish to be in the hospital, but have an intervention free birth. Do consider a birthing center if you have one near you, they are a great alternative if you don’t feel safe at home with a midwife and doula.

Many pregnant women are not fully aware of their right of informed consent or of the obstetricians’ legal obligation to obtain their patient’s informed consent prior to treatment. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) first publicly acknowledged the physician’s legal obligation to obtain his or her pregnant patient’s informed consent in its 1974 publication, Standards for Obstetric-Gynecologic Services, (pg 66-67) which reads:

“It is important to note the distinction between ‘consent’ and ‘informed consent’. Many physicians, because they do not realize there is a difference, believe they are free from liability if the patient consents to treatment. This is not true. The physician may still be liable if the patient’s consent was not informed. In addition, the usual consent obtained by a hospital does not in any way release the physician from his legal duty of obtaining an informed consent from his patient.

“Most courts consider that the patient is ‘informed’ if the following information is given:

• The processes contemplated by the physician as treatment, including whether the treatment is new or unusual.
• The risks and hazards of the treatment,
• The chances for recovery after treatment.
• The necessity of the treatment.
• The feasibility of alternative methods of treatment.

“One point on which courts do agree is that explanations must be given in such a way that the patient understands them. A physician cannot claim as a defense that he explained the procedure to the patient when he knew the patient did not understand. The physician has a duty to act with due care under the circumstances; this means he must be sure the patient understands what she is told.

“It should be emphasized that the following reasons are not sufficient to justify failure to inform:

1.     That the patient may prefer not to be told the unpleasant possibilities regarding the treatment.

2.     That full disclosure might suggest infinite dangers to a patient with an active imagination, thereby causing her to refuse treatment.

3.     That the patient, on learning the risks involved, might rationally decline treatment. The right to decline is the specific fundamental right protected by the informed consent doctrine.”

American parents are becoming increasingly aware that well-intentioned health professionals do not always have scientific data to support common American obstetrical practices, and that many of these practices are carried out primarily because they are part of medical and hospital tradition. The distinguished obstetrician Dr. Roberto Caldeyro-Barcia, while President of FIGO, the world congress of obstetricians-gynecologists, cautioned two decades ago:

“In the last forty years many artificial practices have been introduced which have changed childbirth from a physiological event to a very complicated medical procedure in which all kinds of drugs are used and procedures carried out, sometimes unnecessarily, and many of them potentially damaging for the baby and even for the mother”.

A growing body of research makes it alarmingly clear that every aspect of traditional American hospital care during labor and delivery must now be questioned as to its possible effect on the future well-being of both the obstetric patient and her unborn child.

There has been a three hundred percent increase in the rate of autistic children in the United States in just one decade. One in every 35 children born in the United States today will eventually be diagnosed as retarded; in 75% of these cases there is no familial or genetic predisposing factor. One in every 10 to 17 children has been found to have some form of brain dysfunction or learning disability requiring special treatment. Such statistics are not confined to the lower socioeconomic group but cut across all segments of American society.

New concerns are being raised by childbearing women because no one knows how drug induced changes in brain chemistry, oxygen depletion, head compression, traction and skull fracture by both forceps and vacuum extractor the fetus and newborn infant can tolerate before that child sustains permanent brain damage or dysfunction. The findings regarding the cancer-related drug diethylstilbestrol have alerted the public to the fact that neither the approval of a drug by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration nor the fact that a drug is prescribed by a physician serves as a guarantee that a drug or medication is safe for the mother or her unborn child. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Drugs has stated that there is no drug, whether prescription or over-the-counter remedy, which has been proven safe for the unborn child.

The Pregnant Patient has the right to participate in decisions involving her well-being and that of her unborn child, unless there is a clear cut medical emergency that prevents her participation. In addition to the rights set forth in the American Hospital Association’s “Patient’s Bill of Rights,” the Pregnant Patient, because she represents TWO patients rather than one, should be recognized as having the additional rights listed below.

1.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, prior to the administration of any drug or procedure, to be informed by the health professional caring for her of any potential direct or indirect effects, risks or hazards to herself or her unborn or newborn infant which may result from the use of a drug or procedure prescribed for or administered to her during pregnancy, labor, birth or lactation.

2.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, prior to the proposed therapy, to be informed, not only of the benefits, risks and hazards of the proposed therapy but also of known alternative therapy, such as available childbirth education classes which could help to prepare the Pregnant Patient physically and mentally to cope with the discomfort or stress of pregnancy and birth. Such classes have been shown to reduce or eliminate the Pregnant Patient’s need for drugs and obstetric intervention and should be offered to her early in her pregnancy in order that she may make a reasoned decision.

3.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, prior to the administration of any drug, to be informed by the health professional who is prescribing or administering the drug to her that any drug which she receives during pregnancy, labor and birth, no matter how or when the drug is taken or administered, may adversely affect her unborn baby, directly or indirectly, and that there is no drug or chemical which has been proven safe for the unborn child.

4.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, if Cesarean birth is anticipated, to be informed prior to the administration of any drug, and preferably prior to her hospitalization, - that minimizing her intake of nonessential pre-operative medicine will benefit her baby.

5.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, prior to the administration of a drug or procedure, to be informed of the areas of uncertainty if there is NO properly controlled follow-up research which has established the safety of the drug or procedure with regard to its on the fetus and the later physiological, mental and neurological development of the child. This caution applies to virtually all drugs and the vast majority of obstetric procedures.

6.     The Pregnant Patient has the right, prior to the administration of any drug, to be informed of the brand name and generic name of the drug in order that she may advise the health professional of any past adverse reaction to the drug.

7.     The Pregnant Patient has the right to determine for herself, without pressure from her attendant, whether she will or will not accept the risks inherent in the proposed treatment.

8.     The Pregnant Patient has the right to know the name and qualifications of the individual administering a drug or procedure to her during labor or birth.

9.     The Pregnant Patient has the right to be informed, prior to the administration of any procedure, whether that procedure is being administered to her because a) it is medically indicated, b) it is an elective procedure (for convenience, c) or for teaching purposes or research).

10.   The Pregnant Patient has the right to be accompanied during the stress of labor and birth by someone she cares for, and to whom she looks for emotional comfort and encouragement.

11.   The Pregnant Patient has the right after appropriate medical consultation to choose a position for labor and birth that is the least stressful for her and her baby.

12.   The Obstetric Patient has the right to have her baby cared for at her bedside if her baby is normal, and to feed her baby according to her baby’s needs rather than according to the hospital regimen.

13.   The Obstetric Patient has the right to be informed in writing of the name of the person who actually delivered her baby and the professional qualifications of that person. This information should also be on the birth certificate.

14.   The Obstetric Patient has the right to be informed if there is any known or indicated aspect of her or her baby’s care or condition which may cause her or her baby later difficulty or problems.

15.   The Obstetric Patient has the right to have her and her baby’s hospital- medical records complete, accurate and legible and to have their records, including nursing notes, retained by the hospital until the child reaches at least the age of majority, or, alternatively, to have the records offered to her before they are destroyed.

16.   The Obstetric Patient, both during and after her hospital stay, has the right to have access to her complete hospital-medical records, including nursing notes, and to receive a copy upon payment of a reasonable fee and without incurring the expense of retaining an attorney.

It is the obstetric patient and her baby, not the health professional, who must sustain any trauma or injury resulting from the use of a drug or obstetric procedure. The observation of the rights listed above will not only permit the obstetric patient to participate in the decisions involving her and her baby’s health care, but will help to protect the health professional and the hospital against litigation arising from resentment or misunderstanding on the part of the mother.

Prepared by Doris Haire ©2000
American Foundation for Maternal and Child Health

Source: Alliance for the Improvement of Maternity Services  (AIMS)

http://www.aimsusa.org/ppbr.htm

As soon as I discovered that I was a grandma 9 years ago, when my son told me that he and his partner were pregnant, I considered myself a grandma. I was instantly in a new relationship with my unborn granddaughter because I believe that we are all conscious from at least conception, if not earlier. My relationship with my son, daughter-in-law and their child of 10 years old also changed immediately. I felt that I had to re-negotiate my position in the family as it had now changed. Questions needed to be answered over time about how much I would be invited to be involved in the process, and what the new boundaries would be. What kind of grandma did I want to be, and how was becoming a grandma going to affect the way that I perceived my son and his partners parenting and life style, now that another new and vulnerable life was involved? How could I support the health in my family? How could I empower the younger ones by my presence? I was very fortunate to be deeply included in my granddaughter’s journey into life.

We are separated geographically by thousands of miles and an ocean, but I would talk to my granddaughter in my mind, send her love, and I also made her a tape with music, stories, etc on it that her mom could play for her in the womb. Included in this tape was a story I made up about my grand-daughters journey into life. This was about how she came here from her Divine Home to be with us, and made a journey to her conception, the sperm and egg coming together as she entered the physical body, and her gestation, and about how she was coming to her birth now. When her then 10 year old sister heard this taped story, she cried, it touched her so. Suddenly, my grandma role also had to stretch to include the other child in my son’s family who was not my blood granddaughter, and to whom I had not been in that role prior to her sisters coming. She needed to feel included by me. My son became a man before my eyes, even his body changed and filled out and he took on new responsibilities, and my daughter in law let me in to her inner world and life in a new way, which was an honor for me. I felt blessed to be so included by my family in this process, and to be valued for the support and experience I could bring to my family. All the knowledge I have learned through my work and my own journey into life, have informed me deeply about how we need to be bringing little ones in. Being able to use this wisdom to give my own granddaughter a really good foundation for life was joyous! It gave me the greatest pleasure and honor, and many ancestral imprints were broken and stopped in the process, a great blessing and opportunity for us all. This opportunity is available for all birthing families with the right support and information, and I am available to talk to you about this.

I have heard many sorry stories about the newly pregnant family closing its borders and keeping other family members out. I know there are a great many good reasons why this happens, and it is a sad loss for all involved. E.g. If the mother-in-law is not in a good connection with the pregnant mom, she may find herself either excluded or having to work really hard to find her place in the new family order. Relationship issues can become amplified at this time. This offers everyone an opportunity to heal and resolve past hurts. It can also cause issues to become more entrenched if the required relationship skills are not present, and there is not enough safety for everyone to open up to the healing. Pregnancy is such a time of potency, creativity and heightened potential for healing and spiritual connection. Through the pregnant mom and baby we are all offered an opportunity to bask in the energy of the beautiful spiritual journey that is happening when a new child comes in. The veils are pulled back as the child enters through the portal from their Divine Home into the physical world, and through our close connection with mom/baby during pregnancy we are also offered the gift of being in this energy. Mom and baby are closer to that energy than at any other time.

When a young woman is becoming a mom for the first time, she has to find a new relationship to her mother, and her mother likewise has to do the same with her. There is a shift. The daughter is becoming a mother. The new Grandma has to discover, sensitively, what her new role is to become both with her daughter and with her grandchild. What unresolved issues in their mother/daughter relationship are going to surface during this powerful time? Handled well, this time is powerful for healing because a pregnant woman is so open, intuitive and connected to source. She is in her power. Anyone in her close orbit is going to be deeply affected by her and the changes she is going through to become a mom. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable, or even very difficult, as people adjust to their new roles and positions.

E.g. A new mom who is working out some of her own early imprints, during or before her pregnancy, may want the boundaries in her relationship with her mom to change to more healthy ones. Perhaps when she was growing up her relationship with her mom did not have healthy boundaries. She now needs to create a healthier relationship with her mom before she can allow her to be part of her new family. Her mom’s ability to respect and take on these changes, instigated by her daughter, will directly affect how much she is going to be allowed to participate as a grandma. Often these dynamics can be too hard to deal with and a new family will simply exclude or distance grandmas because they don’t have the tools or resources, emotionally or psychologically, to make the changes required for a more healthy relationship. This is a good time to get some help.

As the new parents are contemplating parenthood, and deciding the kind of parents they want to be, the parenting they received will often come up for review. This can bring up painful memories, and decisions not to parent in the same way as their parents. Sometimes this can cause conflict or splits in the family if the grandparents assert their way of doing it, and don’t support the new family to find their own way of parenting. They may come up against resistance and emotional reactions if they are not sensitive, and must pay attention to allowing the new parents to find their own authority as parents, and their own way of doing it. Sometimes the boundaries in the family need to shift, grandparents need to tread carefully in the exploration of their new role, allowing and respecting the new parents to make the container that they need in order to step into parenting in their own way. It may not be the way you did it, but that doesn’t make it wrong! These kinds of changes, if respected and supported, can bring the family closer together. As grandparents it is important to offer only advice that is welcome and asked for, and always being sensitive to the effects of your presence and your level of involvement. We must pay very good attention to what we are being asked for. Respect new boundaries, and support the new parents choices, and check in with them to find out what it is that they want from you. Don’t be scared to ask! And, be willing to step into a new way of doing things that might be hard for you. Grandparents need to get their own support so that they can process difficulties with this transition, deal with the changes and issues arising, and not expect their children to have to deal with their process at this vulnerable time of change.

Many of us have been wounded by our experiences of coming into life, and especially have been traumatized by the medical, high intervention birthing in hospitals that we now consider ‘normal’. Women have lost the crucial and important ability to support our daughters, and the young women in our families, through pregnancy and birthing. We have become used to handing over this role, and with it our power, to doctors in a predominantly male medical profession. Our female ancestral lines need a lot of healing before we can get back to women supporting women, mothers supporting daughters, and birth being treated as a normal and natural process that should be ultimately empowering and joyous for mom and baby. Pregnancy and birth should be a time when a pregnant family is surrounded by the wise and mature women of their community who have already birthed, and by the midwives. The right way is for a new mom to learn all she needs to know about this very important female right of passage from the women, especially her own mother and close female relatives and friends. Unfortunately, this is not happening for most women.

It is normal for us to remember our own early journey into life when we are becoming a parent ourselves. These memories are not obvious because they reside in our body, cells and energy field and they express themselves in a kind of repeating of what happened in the past as we came in. If there were times during her own gestation that we had a difficult or traumatic time, these trauma’s will be triggered at around that same time during the gestation of our new baby. E.g. A mom goes into premature labor with her first child and her baby is born prematurely. With her second child she goes into early labor again at the exact same time in her pregnancy. During her early second labor this mom is asked by a wise woman “What happened in your birth?” Her reply: “I was premature, and oh! it was at exactly the same time I have gone into labor with my two children!!” She was able to see that her own premature birth was being re-enacted in present time with her own babies. On realizing this, and processing her own experience and emotions about being born prematurely, her premature contractions ceased and she went to full term with her second child. This example demonstrates the unconscious power that our own journey into life can hold over us, and the influence it can have on our parenting, and on our own children’s lives, if we remain totally unconscious about it. Never underestimate the latent power of your own early experiences when you are becoming a parent. It’s really good to know that often we are re-creating something that happened to us, and it actually has nothing to do with what is happening in present time. When we can do this it gives us a lot more real choice in the present. This is why I very much like to work with pre-pregnant and pregnant parents to see what may be influencing their experiences, and to support them to have full choice and not to just repeat what happened to them back then.

New parents have their own private negotiations and changes to make as they become parents. Each person has their own personal changes that they are going through in the act of becoming a parent, and then their relationship is going through a big transition too. Relationship dynamics that were there before conception can be amplified as pregnancy progresses. This is normal because as new parents you are in the process of creating a nest for your new baby and your relationship is an important part of the container. Is it strong enough? Is it healthy? What needs attention? What needs support? Are we ready yet? What will it take for us to come together and be enough for this child? What support do we need?

I wish you well on your every deepening and widening journey into parenting. I am available for face to face and telephone sessions to support conscious conception, pregnancy support, parenting issues, and healing of early imprints so that you can become better, happier parents with more choices.

http://hypnobabies.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/mom-fires-ob-during-birth-when-threatened-with-a-cesarean/

June 1, 2010

I LOVE this birth story, because it shows how moms can be so powerful during their births!   Mom was induced at 42 weeks, but insisted that the pitocin was turned up slowly and refused to have her water broken.

First off I have to thank all the wonderful women in this group. (Hypnobabies Yahoo Group) Without you and your wonderful stories I don’t think I would have had the confidence to go to the hospital to be induced with pit, and have a beautiful birth.  I was so nervous and upset the few nights before. Your stories gave me the reassurance that I could do this, and I did. Here is our story.

I think overall I let myself be pushed into inducing. We were at the 42wks the Dr. had guessed. My family was all becoming quite impatient and there was a lot of pressure to have her out.  I agreed to be induced and get things started.

The night before I kissed my first child goodnight and tucked him in, in tears. I left him at my MIL’s so we didn’t have to get him up so early the next morning. Friday the 21st at 6 am we were at the hospital. I took a ton of food in with me, because I was not going to do this with no fuel. We got settled, the first nurse got us all checked in did all the paperwork and started the IV. They had a change of shift, so the next nurse, Anna, come-on and she was wonderful.

Anna spoke with us and I told her how things were going to go. To call the doctor if she needed but I was the one birthing a healthy baby, and unless the stats of baby changed, this is what I wanted. She was so cool! I told her we would be doing the pit slowly. I only wanted an increase every 45 min to an hour, not the every 15 the Dr. had ordered. She called the Dr and it was agreed. So off we set.  We had a cervical check and I was barely dilated 2 and my cervix was very posterior.

I had no idea how the pit would work on me and baby so we just waited. Annabella was so squirmy, they couldn’t keep her on the monitors, Anna had to hold them on and move with her. Around 10am my sister arrived. A few hours past and not much was going on. They wanted me to wear O2 for a while, and said baby was accelerating better when it was on. It didn’t bother me so we did.

After awhile the Dr came in and wanted to look for Annabella and when she couldn’t find her well stated the baby was breach and we needed to go have a c-section. I looked at this woman and told her no, baby had not flipped I would have felt it, and I was not getting a c-section today. That if baby had turned, then we would turn off the pit, and I would go see my Chiropractor to help move her around again. I don’t think the Dr liked me. I didn’t care. So she ordered an ultrasound just to see, and I was later told she knew baby was breach and had started the paperwork to send us on.

Annabella was in fact not breech. She was head down just not really engaged. I felt so good knowing I was right. All this happened about 11am. There had been no increase in the pit for awhile, because of the ultrasound, I still wasn’t doing much that I felt anyway. We started upping it again.

During these times since Annabella wasn’t staying on the monitor anyway, I was up. I walked and rolled on the ball. I leaned over the ball to do pelvic tilts. Pretty much anything I wanted. I really enjoyed that.  I was eating and drinking. I was joking and laughing with my sister and husband. At 2pm I declined another cervical check, but was starting to feel some steady waves we started using Hypnobabies. We called my Doula and told her to come on in.

I was standing and rocking my hips back and forth during the waves, and they were nice. Just these waves, they never were uncomfortable. I didn’t feel I needed to go in to off during them so I just stayed in center moving as I felt I needed to. Anna would come in and check baby with a Doppler, and the let us do our thing.

About 4 the Dr was back, she wanted to see where we were so we checked. I was 4cm, and my cervix was no longer posterior, about 70% effaced.

• The Dr. said I was not where she would like to see me by now. She wanted to break my waters and move things along.
• I told her no thanks; I felt we were doing fine. Baby was fine, so was I.
• She didn’t look surprised. She did get quite nasty though, and told me if I didn’t do things the right way this will land in a c-section and was putting myself and child at risk. That she was going off shift and there would be someone else.
• I came up out of Hypnosis, and the bed, looked her square in the eye and told her that my child in fine.
• I am not having a c-section to please her that if she had not noticed this was MY birth. I was the one doing things, until someone can show me that my child was unsafe I would do this all night if needed.  That was the RIGHT way.
• Also that it was a good thing that she was going off shift, because she was fired. I didn’t want her back in my room. I didn’t need any one in there being negative. I was sure there were other people around who could catch this child, and if not I would do it myself.
• She left the room in a quick hurry, and as I turned around again, my husband and everyone including the nurse were all just kind of staring at me.

My husband was stunned, and asked if I could do that, firing the Dr. I told him I didn’t care if I could or not, she wasn’t coming back to my room. Anna asked to get baby back on the monitor for a few, and as I lay down and got all adjusted, she said she had not liked the Dr. either.  I don’t know how things happened from there, but another Dr. came in and introduced himself about 45 min. later and was way more respectful than that woman had been.

We continued, at 7pm the waves were more intense and almost on top of one another. My Doula suggested I get in the shower to help, we did, and it didn’t really help much. I started to shake and shiver but I wasn’t cold. I vomited all over, and then with the next wave I felt pushy. soon there after my waters broke during one of the pushy waves.

**BOP** I have read other people say that it was pushing that was most intense and they were unprepared for. I agree. At some point I stopped using Hypnobabies, and it hurt. My body had taken over, I had no choice but to push. I was on my hands and knees, but that wasn’t working for me. I rolled to my back, someone held my legs, and she came.  I now know what the ring of fire is. **BOP**

Annabella was born at 8:06pm 7lbs 10oz. 21 inches long.  She cried for a bit but was so awake and alert. She is just perfect. She latched on and nursed minutes after birth. I am so happy with this birth. I did it the way I wanted even if it didn’t start the way I choose. I wish the dr had been more supportive. But you can’t have it all.

Unfortunately, this common sense practice is not happening in America, so we have to be resourceful and find our own support at these important times. For many women it is not possible to return to full health and comfort in their body without help.

It is for these reasons that I am highly recommending Isa Herrera’s book “Ending Female Pain: A woman’s Manual - the Ultimate self-Help Guide for Women Suffering from Chronic Pelvic and Sexual Pain.

Herrera says “… pregnant women need to be empowered with information and made aware that certain positions are less likely to cause perineal tearing (during birth).” She also strongly advocates for perineal massage started at 34 weeks in pregnancy, and finding a doctor that does not perform routine episiotomies. Obviously, finding a doctor who does not perform routine cesarean sections would be a great help too, because with surgical birthing your body is recovering from both birthing and major abdominal surgery.

Prevention where possible is the best option, so really educating yourself about birthing positions, finding a doctor with very low episiotomy and cesarean section rates (good luck with getting a straight answer out of your doc on this one!), and likewise a hospital with a relatively low c-section rate can help considerably in pelvic health. Although I advise finding out your docs/hospitals statistics in relation to these practices, you may in reality find it very difficult to get these questions answered. Hospitals and doctors are strangely reluctant to part with this information……

This book does require a strong commitment to self-care to be really effective, you have to do the exercises regularly, and so it is suitable for highly motivated people who can carry out a regime consistently on their own at home. The other resource is to find a Physical Therapist in your area who is trained especially in women’s issues. Some of these therapists, although they don’t advertise it, also offer inner-vaginal work, which can be crucial for some issues.

I also recommend acupuncture, especially after surgery, as it accelerates healing and re-balances the system. Che Nei Tsang (abdominal massage) could also help, and finding someone who can work with scar tissue once things have settled down enough in your body may be beneficial.

As with all these options, use your intuition to pick what is best for you and be discerning about your practitioners.

Abstract:

Based on the author’s extensive work with patients, this article clarifies the conditions under which prenatal experiences may be lifelong and describes the theoretical and research perspectives necessary to understand the effects of prenatal traumatization. In addition, since the incidences of personal and societal violence are at an all-time peak and increasing, the author discusses the effects of pre- and peri-natal trauma on aggression and violence. (end)

The prenate (i.e., the unborn baby) is vulnerable in a number of ways that are generally unrecognized and unarticulated. Most people think or assume that prenates are unaware, and seldom attribute to them the status of being human. I recall a recent train trip, where an expectant mother sat in a smoking car filled with boisterous and noisy people. I asked her whether she had any concern for her unborn baby, and whether she thought the smoke or the noise would be bothersome to her unborn child. Her reply was, “Well of course not, my dear. They are not very intelligent or awake yet.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Theory and research from the last 20 years indicates that prenatal experiences can be remembered, and have lifelong impact. The major purpose of this article is to clarify the conditions under which prenatal experiences may be lifelong and to describe the theoretical and research perspectives that are necessary to understand the effects of prenatal traumatization. In addition, because the incidences of personal and societal violence are at an all-time peak and headed higher, this paper discusses the effects of pre- and perinatal trauma on aggression and violence.

Interactional Trauma

The effects of prenatal traumatization cannot be predicted without knowledge of other factors, and prenatal experiences are likely to have lifelong impact when they are followed by reinforcing conditions or interactional trauma. The term “interactional trauma” means that traumas interact with each other in producing their effects. In statistical analyses, interactional means that the effects of factors depend on the presence of other factors. Both of these definitions communicate the meaning of interaction as it is used in this article. For example, it is unlikely that being stuck during the birthing process causes claustrophobia during adulthood. However, claustrophobia is more likely if similar, reinforcing traumas occur. In one such case that I treated, a baby who had been stuck during his birth was also locked in a closet for 24 hours as a child, and held and choked by his brother on several occasions. Several points are relevant here. First of all, prenatal traumas provide “tinctures” for later experiences. Stated differently, life experiences are perceived in terms of prior and unresolved traumas. When a baby is stuck during birth, the baby is likely to perceive later events as entrapping, or to unconsciously manipulate or choose life situations that bring about entrapment. This process is called recapitulation. Secondly, similar or recapitulated events, independent of perceptual processes, are likely to reinforce prenatal traumas, resulting in relatively chronic symptoms. In the case of the baby just described, childhood events acted as reinforcements for the birth trauma, resulting in chronic claustrophobia.

The Effects of Prenatal Experiences: Theoretical Perspectives -Prenates are Conscious, Aware Beings

During the 1995 APPPAH (Assoc. for Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health) Congress in San Francisco, David Chamberlain shared a case that exemplifies the consciousness of prenate’s. In this case, a baby was undergoing amniocentesis. Videotapes of the amniocentesis showed that when the needle was inserted into the uterus, the baby turned toward the needle and batted it away. Thinking that they had seen an aberration, medical staff repeated the needle insertion, and again, the baby batted the needle away. In addition, there are numerous anecdotal reports that babies routinely withdraw from needles as they are inserted into the uterus. From these observations, it is safe to conclude that babies are very conscious of what is happening around them, particularly with respect to events that impact them personally. In her book From Fetus to Child, Piontelli cites cases of prenatal awareness. She describes a twin pair, at about four months of gestation, who were very conscious of each other, and were also involved in dominance-submission interactions. One of the twins was dominant and aggressive, the other submissive. Whenever the dominant twin was pushing or hitting, the submissive twin withdrew and placed his head on the placenta, appearing to rest there. In life, when these twins were four years of age, they had the same relationship. Whenever there was fighting or tension between the pair, the passive twin would go to his room and put his head on his pillow. He also carried a pillow and used it as his “security blanket,” resting on it whenever his twin became aggressive. From this and other research (such as David Chamberlain’s Babies Remember Birth, currently out of print but borrowable from APPPAH members, and Elizabeth Noble’s Primal Connections), it seems clear that prenates are conscious beings and that behaviors that begin in utero are also likely to carry over into later life.

Prenatal Events Are Remembered

For years it was hard to understand how prenatal experiences could be remembered. The central nervous system is very rudimentary during the prenatal period, and is not yet myelinated (covered by a protective sheath). When there is no myelination, the nervous system cannot function efficiently enough to support memory. However, anecdotal reports of adults regressed to the prenatal period and remembering prenatal events proliferated in primal and regressive communities. In 1970 Dr. Graham Farrant, an Australian medical doctor, began experiencing prenatal events and recording his body experiences. He was quite astonished to discover that he experienced most of his significant prenatal memories at a cellular rather than a tissue or skeletal-muscular level, and he referred to his recollections as cellular memory. In 1975 Dr. Frank Lake, an English theologian and psychiatrist, found that prenatal memories stemmed from viral cells, that viruses were primitive prenatal cells that formed during trauma and carried traumatic memories. He consistently referred to prenatal memories in terms of cellular memories. Over the last 5 years, there has been a considerable amount of research done in cellular biology, all of it supporting the theory that memories can be encoded in cells. The research of Dr. Bruce Lipton, reported in the 1995 APPPAH Congress, is relevant here and supports the conclusions of Farrant and Lake.

Prenatal Memories May be the Most Influential

A group of European psychologists, led by R. D. Laing and Frank Lake (both now deceased), contend that prenatal memories are the most influential because they are the first. This perspective is apparent in Laing’s book entitled The Facts of Life, where he says, “The environment is registered from the very beginning of my life; by the first one (cell) of me. What happens to the first one or two of me may reverberate throughout all subsequent generations of our first cellular parents. That first one of us carries all my ‘genetic’ memories” (p. 30). He goes on to say, “It seems to me credible, at least, that all our experience in our life cycle from cell one is absorbed and stored from the beginning, perhaps especially in the beginning. How that may happen I do not know. How can one cell generate the billions and billions of cells I now am? We are impossible, but for the fact that we are. When I look at the embryological stages in my life cycle I experience what feel to me like sympathetic vibrations in me now… how I now feel I felt then” (p. 36). Frank Lake mirrored Laing’s perspectives. Lake contended that the most formative experiences were ones that occurred prenatally, especially during the first trimester. In the U.S., Lloyd DeMause has also written about the social, cultural, and political influences of prenatal experiences, and reported on these findings during the 1995 APPPAH Congress.

Prenates Incorporate Parental Experiences and Feelings

From his regressions with adult patients, Lake also found that the most influential events were maternal experiences that passed biochemically through the umbilical cord by means of a group of chemicals called the catecholamines, but it is also true that prenate’s incorporate psychic prenatal feelings and experiences, especially those of their mothers. Maternal emotions (and paternal emotions through the mother’s emotional response to them) infiltrate the fetus. Research shows that what mothers experience, babies also experience. A good example is the following case. A woman’s father died just prior to the conception of her child. She spent the whole 9 months feeling depressed and grieving the loss of her father. If it is true that babies experience and remember what their mothers experience, then her baby should also have experienced loss and depression, and these feelings would be expected to resurface during childhood and/or adulthood. This appeared to be the case. As a child, her baby was periodically depressed, and medical personnel could find no physiological or psychological basis for the depression (they were not cognizant of the child’s prenatal experiences). When he was depressed, he would draw pictures of old and dying men in caves (in pre- and perinatal psychology, caves are symbolic of wombs, the place where he experienced the loss of his grandfather). After drawing, he would feel better for a while, but the depression would slowly return. He was unconscious of any connection between his drawings and his grandfather’s death. The depression became chronic when his parents were experiencing tension (his mother and father were living separately but raising him together). The tension symbolized the loss of his father and grandfather. His drawings sometimes depicted a little girl frantically searching for dying men. The little girl probably represented his own feminine, the mother’s inner child, and/or a female twin’s experience of the grandfather’s loss. It is unlikely that grief would have resurfaced as chronic depression without the reinforcing conditions of father loss and parental discord.

It is important to realize that although prenate’s do take on the prenatal experiences of their parents, they also have their own unique experiences during the prenatal period, independent of their parents. The mechanisms of how this works are not clear, but numerous anecdotal reports and clinical cases show that prenates have their own experiences. For example, I recall the reports of a regressed child, a twin, who was repeatedly subjected to verbal and physical fights between his mother and her boyfriend during the prenatal period. His experiences of the prenatal fighting were not what might be expected, based on this paper’s content. He reported that his mother and her boyfriend were constantly fighting, but he and his twin would respond to this by cuddling up and rocking while the fighting went on. During the fighting, they both felt quite clever (to have avoided the tension) and relaxed. Perhaps the presence of a comforting twin can make separation from parental experiences feasible or possible.

When Reinforced, Prenatal Experiences May Have Dramatic and Symptomatic Influences

In the case of the woman who lost her father just prior to pregnancy, the baby presumably experienced the same loss that his mother experienced. In addition, a very tangible and personal trauma happened shortly thereafter. Early in the pregnancy, when she was 8 weeks pregnant, the mother’s husband abruptly left her for another woman. She was shocked by the experience and felt deeply abandoned. Presumably her unborn child did as well. Because she had little financial security and did not want to raise a child by herself, she decided to abort her child. She attempted several abortions, most often by using the hooked or curved end of a coat hanger. As a child, her baby was periodically sadistic and self-destructive. The manifestations of his sadism bore striking resemblances to his mother’s abortion attempts, although he was unaware of them. He burned himself with cigarettes and gouged private parts of his body with sharp metal objects. His favorite sadistic instrument was a fishing hook, but he complained he could never buy ones that were big enough. As a young adult he was arrested thirty times for assault, and his modus operandi was reminiscent of his mother’s attempts to abort him. He usually assaulted his victims when they were sleeping, by using heavy braided wire with a wire hook welded on the end.

Aggression and Violence are Pathological Symptoms Resulting from Multiple, Reinforcing Traumas with Themes of Loss, Abandonment, and Aggression

In the case just described, the prenate experienced the intense loss and abandonment that his mother experienced. In addition, he also experienced the abandonment that comes with parental narcissism, i.e., his mother was so absorbed in her abandonment and loss that she had little or no cognizance of him, nor did she have time or energy to celebrate his presence. On the contrary, he was perceived as a burden, and as something to get rid of. Consequently, he also experienced the aggression of his mother’s abortion attempts on his life.

Prenatal and Birth Traumas are Mirror Images

Prenatal traumas have two distinct impacts on birth. First of all, birth is often perceived and experienced in terms of prenatal traumatization. So, for example, babies who experience abortion attempts are also likely to experience birth as annihilative, babies who experience near-death during implantation in the womb are likely to experience birth as a near-death experience, and babies who experience aggression or violence while in the womb are likely to experience the interventions of birth as aggressive and violent, even though there is no such intent on the part of medical personnel or parents. Secondly, as Sheila Kitzinger has documented, whenever there is significant prenatal stress (trauma), there is an increasing statistical likelihood that birth complications will occur with greater frequency. The greater the degree of stress or trauma during the prenatal period, the greater the likelihood of birth complications and obstetrical interventions. This is exactly what occurred in case of the mother whose father died just before she became pregnant, and who attempted several abortions. The mother had a very difficult birth with long labor and many complications. Many interventions were used and repeated, among which were inductions, augmentations, sedations, analgesias, anesthesias, forceps, episiotomy, intensive care placement, and respiration.

It should be pointed out that the severity of symptomology in the present case is due to the fact that there were additional and reinforcing traumas as well, all involving loss, abandonment, and aggression. When the baby was 3 months old, the mother took him shopping in a stroller, forgot that he was with her, left him in an aisle of the store, and only realized her error hours later. In addition to this, she had a boyfriend who was repeatedly and physically abusive with her son during his early childhood. These multiple and reinforcing traumas manifested in his childhood and adulthood as aggression and violence.

Prenatal and Birth Traumas Impair Bonding at Birth

In addition to posing a risk of birth traumatization, prenatal traumas have another and more insidious impact. When traumas occur prior to or during birth, the quantity and quality of bonding is radically reduced. This reduction occurs for two reasons. The first has to do with the defensive dulling of mind and body. When traumas and shocks occur, there is a natural physiological dulling of the mind and body in order to defend against traumatization and shock (Bloch, 1985). This self-anesthetization occurs because of the hormonal changes that normally occur in the body during and after trauma and shock. When the body and mind are dulled, and when the body is exhausted from stress, the quantity and quality of bonding are lessened. The second impact has to do with the failure of parents and others to acknowledge traumatization, which diminishes the bonding process even further. When traumas occur, there is a critical period of time afterward during which humans require understanding, acknowledgment, and compassion in order for shock to subside and healing to begin. However it is rare for babies to receive understanding, acknowledgment, and compassion after their prenatal and birth traumas, simply because no one knows or believes that traumas have taken place. As has been verified in my own clinical research with babies, unacknowledged traumas create distrust in babies, and this significantly impedes the bonding process. In contrast, it is informative to witness the level and depth of bonding in babies who have not been traumatized, or whose traumatization is being seen and acknowledged. The bonding is noteworthy by its depth, intensity, and duration. One only has to witness such bonding to realize that bonding is significantly reduced and altered by the presence of unacknowledged and unresolved traumatization.

Lack of Bonding Predisposes the Individual to Aggression and Violence

In my work with infants over the past 25 years, I have discovered some important interrelationships between prenatal trauma, birth trauma, bonding, and aggression. The first interrelationship is that birth actively impacts and impairs the bonding process, and it does so because many aspects of the birthing process are psychologically and physically painful for babies, a fact that is seldom acknowledged. Many things are painful about birth, and many things need acknowledging. Medical exams and medical tests are often experienced (by babies) as unnecessary, invasive, and painful, and this is rarely acknowledged. Medical personnel routinely separate babies from parents after birth, and separation is often experienced as terrifying abandonment. Placement in intensive care is frequently experienced as terrifying, lonely, overstimulating, and painful abandonment. Anesthetization is particularly impactful on bonding because residual amounts of anesthesia are common in babies, even hours and days after birth, and anesthesia makes babies (and mothers) numb and therefore less available to the bonding process. Epidurals were thought to be superior to other anesthesias because they would not inhibit the bonding process as much, but research shows that mothers who receive epidurals show less attachment to their babies than mothers who do not. These are some examples of the effects of birth trauma on bonding. In all cases bonding is impacted because it is difficult for babies to trust their parents when their parents do not accurately perceive or acknowledge their prenatal and birth traumas. In general, the greater the number and severity of unacknowledged prenatal and birth traumas, the greater the impact on bonding.

A second important interrelationship has to do with the effects of unresolved trauma on bonding. When traumas are largely untreated, the impacts on bonding are exacerbated because the traumatized infant remains in a defensive stance with respect to the world, and does not “let the world touch him.” Many parents report to me that their babies are very independent, but this is often a cover for defensiveness. Such babies act as if they are OK, and do not need comforting or support. They do not easily let themselves be comforted and held, either pushing their parents away and/or ignoring their attempts to comfort and console. Many times they will only let their parents comfort them after considerable resistance. Third, it is important to realize that a lack of bonding may be sufficient, in and of itself, to create aggression and violence. This surprising fact has been brought to light by various researchers. For example, Magid and McKelvey (1988) reported that children with severe bonding difficulties do not develop a conscience, and perform asocial or antisocial acts without remorse. Felicity De Zulueta summarized research in the field of bonding and attachment, and concluded that violent aggression is the result of damaged bonding. She says (1993, p. 78), “One of the most important outcomes of… studies on attachment behavior is the emerging link between psychological trauma, such as loss (of a bond)… and destructive or violent behavior.” She concludes that the more damage that is done to bonding, the greater the likelihood of aggression and violence during childhood and adulthood. Fourth and finally, it is clear from the observations of clinical researchers that the probability of societal aggression and violence are increased greatly by the presence of aggression or violence during the pre- and perinatal periods of development. Prenates pick up on aggressive and violent energies, and are likely to repeat what they experience in their prenatal life space.

What Kinds of Pre- and Perinatal Experiences Underlie Aggression and Violence?

As a way of determining the prenatal, etiological bases for violence and aggression, I posed a basic question to a number of experts in the field, among which were R. D. Laing, Frank Lake, Barbara Valassis, Barbara Findeisen, Stan Grof, Michael Irving, and others. I asked them to report on the kinds of regressive experiences that their aggressive and violent patients had uncovered and/or reported, and that were central in the success of treatment. Among their varied responses were common threads of consensus, among which were: a) pre- and perinatal experiences were paramount in aggression and violence; b) childhood experiences seemed to reflect and reinforce prenatal traumatization; c) aggression and violence were related to the severest levels of pre- and perinatal trauma; d) certain themes were consistently related to aggression and violence–themes of loss, abandonment, rejection, and aggression; and e) certain pre- and perinatal traumas were consistently related to aggression and violence. These experiences are described below.

In reading through these experiences, it is important to remember several basic principles, referenced above. First of all, multiple prenatal traumas are more likely to result in violence and aggression than single traumas. Secondly, bonding deficiencies are directly related to aggression and violence. The greater the degree of bonding deficits, the greater the likelihood of violence and aggression. Third, prenatal traumas that involve loss, abandonment, or rejection are more likely to impact bonding than other traumatic themes, and are also more likely to result in the complete absence of bonding than traumas involving other themes. Finally, the direct exposure to aggression and violence during the prenatal period is highly predictive of violence and aggression during adulthood. The old adage, “Children learn what they live,” is relevant here. Like children, prenates “learn what they live,” and prenates subjected to aggression and violence are likely to manifest the same in their adult lives.

Conception

When clients who have problems with aggression and violence are regressed, they frequently encounter the experience of conception. They report that they are conscious of traumatic issues outside of themselves, in their family or immediate surroundings. The most frequently mentioned traumas involve forced sex, manipulated sex, date rape, rape, substance abuse, physical abuse, dismal familial, social, or cultural conditions, and personal or cultural shame, such as when children are conceived out of wedlock. They often experience biological encounters as sperm and/or eggs which involve intense aggression, annihilation, death, power, and/or rejection. To cite an example of traumatic conception, one child was conceived out of wedlock in a small religious community where such things were disdained. Her mother experienced shame, guilt, and public ridicule before deciding to “keep her,” and her child experienced the same guilt, shame, and ridicule that her mother did. The public ridicule was experienced as particularly annihilating and hostile. This led to characterological patterns of self-righteousness, self-ridicule, masochism, and hostility.

Implantation

Implantation is the biological process whereby the conceptus attaches itself to the uterine wall, and is a vital stage of embryological development where survival is precarious. Prior to and during implantation, regressees report that they come close to death, experience the terror of near-death, experience that they are unwanted, experience that they have no place to go, no place to belong, and “decide” that the world is a hostile and unsafe place. They often collapse in hopelessness, retaliate in rage, fluctuate between these two extremes, and/or manifest intense rescue complexes (the need to rescue others and/or be rescued). Christ’s life was, in many ways, a metaphor of implantation. There was “no room in the Inn,” and He had no place that He belonged. And as the Bible declares, His life was manifested in order for Him to save and rescue mankind. Many regressees with problems in aggression report the loss of a twin. Their problems with aggression typically have to do with masochism and/or neurotic self criticism. Embryological research indicates that loss of a twin may be much more likely than originally thought. Embryologists estimate that between 30% to 80% of conceptions are multiple (i.e. twins) rather than single. Since the rate of birthed twins is far less than 30% to 80% percent, embryologists conclude that many conceptions involve the death of one or more twins, usually prior to or during implantation, although some happen after implantation. People who experience the loss of a twin manifest several common dynamics. First of all, there is an ineffable but profound sense of loss, despair, and rage that is connected with twin death. These feelings are usually held in, but are sometimes acted out against others. Secondly, there is a chronic but ineffable and unarticulated fear that loss will happen again, and pervasive insecurity. The threat of loss is defended against by distancing from others, or by engaging in codependent relationships. Third, the ability to bond with others is deficient or neurotic because there is a lack of trust in relationships, or disbelief that relationships will last. Fourth, there is often an over compliance in life, based on the unconscious feeling that “if I don’t do what is expected or wanted, I will die.” Over compliance feeds hostility and aggression toward others, since one cannot take care of oneself when constantly complying with others. Finally, prenatal experiences of near-death and/or loss are sometimes turned against oneself or others, resulting in sadistic and masochistic behaviors, criminal violence, or sadomasochistic thinking and behavior.

Discovery of Unwanted Pregnancy

When aggressive clients regress to the prenatal period, they frequently and spontaneously regress to the time of their discovery (i.e., the time the pregnancy was discovered), and many of them are surprised to find that they were unwanted. The discovery of being unwanted typically leads to the realization that lifelong episodes of depression, self-destructiveness, or aggression are a direct expression of prenatal rejection. They typically report that they can trust only themselves, and that their whole lives have been geared toward denying or finding the acceptance and love that they did not receive as prenates. The percentage of aggressive clients who were unwanted at the time of discovery is quite high, and has important implications for bonding disorders. Typical responses to being unwanted are to collapse into helplessness and hopelessness, to rage at others and the world’s injustice, and/or to refuse to engage in life.

Prenatal Aggression

The majority of adults with problems in aggression learn that they were unwanted at the time of discovery, but many of them also learn that they were exposed to other forms of aggression during the pre- and perinatal period. Some common forms of aggression are warfare, gang fights, domestic violence, conception through rape, physical or sexual abuse of parents or siblings, annihilative energies, intrauterine toxicities, and/or abortion attempts. Prenates who experience one or more of these aggressive conditions are at risk for manifesting aggression and violence, and the greater the number of conditions, the greater the likelihood of aggression and violence.

Adoption

Adoption trauma refers to a broad range of painful experiences that are common to adoption. When children are adopted, they are likely to have experienced some level of abortion trauma–there may have been direct attempts on life, abortion plans with no attempts, or abortion ideations but no plans. All of these are traumatizing to varying degrees. In addition they are likely to have experienced discovery trauma (child unwanted at the time of discovery), conception trauma (child unwanted at time of conception), or psychological toxicity (child exposed to mother’s annihilative or ambivalent feelings, or to social/cultural shame). Adoption trauma has many different levels. The lowest level occurs when parents want their children but reluctantly give them up for adoption because external circumstances dictate. A higher level occurs when parents do not want their children and seriously consider abortion. The highest level occurs when parents are unequivocally opposed to having children, when pregnancies are resented, when abortions are attempted, when children are put up for adoption, and when children are fostered a number of times. High risk (for aggression) children are children who experience the severest levels of adoption trauma.

Pre- and Perinatal Medical Procedures

When prenates experience severe forms of traumatization, as described above, they are also likely to perceive subsequent events in similar contexts. This is especially true when subsequent events are stressful life transitions (such as birth, adolescence, first jobs, new relationships, etc.), and/or when subsequent events are symbolically similar to traumatizing events. For example, if prenates experience prenatal violence, then they are likely to experience life transitions (such as birth) in violent ways. Freud called this process recapitulation. Among other definitions, recapitulation means that prenatal experiences shape how subsequent life experiences are perceived. The following case is a good example, because the mother had limited prenatal traumas, which nevertheless impacted her baby’s perceptions and experiences of the birthing process. The mother was 28 years old, and had never attempted to conceive a child. Her mother had had difficulty conceiving children, so she was anxious about her ability to conceive. She wanted to have a child, and in spite of being unmarried, conceived a child with her boyfriend, who was ambivalent but consented to try. They conceived after much effort, whereupon the boyfriend turned brutal and violent against the mother and her baby (it was later determined that the boyfriend’s father had been abusive during the boyfriend’s prenatal period). A series of beatings occurred, after which the mother fled. She spent the remainder of her pregnancy in a distant and safe place, under conditions that were close to “ideal.” She was attentive to herself, her body, and to her baby. She meditated daily and earned income from work she did at home. She had an extensive and supportive family system as well as friends, and the remainder of the pregnancy was uneventful in terms of other stresses and traumas. She devoted time to her unborn baby every day, talking and singing to him, and doing bonding exercises. She gave birth at home, and described the birth as short and simple, with no complications. In spite of having a largely positive pregnancy and an easy birth, the early abusive experiences haunted her and her baby. In particular, her baby experienced the birth as very traumatic (this is not an unusual event, even when mothers describe births as simple and uneventful). This was evident in childhood memories of his third trimester and birth. He experienced the his mother’s jogging during the third trimester as abusive, saying that his head bounced painfully on his mother’s pelvic bones. He experienced the perineal massages (given repeatedly during birth) as intrusive, and the contractions as abusive and violent. He was aware of his mother’s physical pain, felt the birth was hurting her, and felt guilty that he could not protect her. In short, all of his birth feelings appeared to be overlays and manifestations of his unresolved abuse traumas from the first trimester. It is important to realize that, even more so than children or adults, prenates perceive and interpret life experiences in terms of past experiences. This is so because prenates do not have sufficient neurological integrity or adequate life experiences to assist in discriminating between current and historical realities.

When prenates experience abandonment, rejection, violence, or abuse, as has been described in this paper, they routinely bring these experiences to bear during the birthing process. Amniocentesis needles and chorionic villae catheters are commonly perceived as aggressive, annihilating, and/or rejecting instruments. Anesthetic procedures are often perceived as attempts to disempower or to poison (a reflection of abortion trauma). Augmentations (inductions and “breaking waters”) are usually experienced as boundary violations. Forceps and vacuum extractions are often perceived as attempts to control or annihilate. Contractions are often perceived as attempts to annihilate, destroy, or impede. For example, one adult who had been exposed to chemical and mechanical abortion attempts (his mother had taken low-dose cyanide pills and repeatedly pummeled her abdomen and uterus) experienced contractions as attempts to beat him to death, and experienced anesthesia administrations as attempts to poison him. It is vital that medical and obstetrical personnel understand the importance and relevance of pre- and perinatal traumas, and understand that birthing babies are likely to experience the birthing process in terms of prior traumatizations. This means that birth can be very traumatic, simply on the basis of personal history. If this fact were known, then medical interventions could be limited to situations where they were absolutely necessary, or medical interventions could be humanized in a variety of ways (such as asking for babies’ permission to implement procedures and getting responses through mother’s intuitions; letting babies know that they might experience prior pains and discomforts; empathizing in terms of prior traumas; letting babies know that birth is a difficult transition with the potential for negative and overwhelming feelings; and acknowledging babies post-birth emotions as legitimate expressions of a difficult birthing process. It is also important to acknowledge the positive aspects of birthing, the wonder and joy that belongs to the birthing process. Few births are entirely difficult, and few are free from trauma or pain. We need to acknowledge the whole gamut of human experiences as they unfold during the birthing process.

Treatment

It is important that pre- and perinatal traumas be treated as early as possible. This is so because, as previously discussed, early traumas shape how subsequent events will be perceived and experienced. If treatment occurs early on, during gestation or the first year, then childhood experiences can be freed from prenatal influences, and children can live their lives unencumbered by the bonds of trauma. The effects of trauma have been described elsewhere (Emerson, 1992, 1994). However, suffice it to say that unresolved traumas affect the spiritual and psychological development of children. In contrast, children who had no trauma, or whose traumas have been resolved, are clearly unique in the following ways. They are more spiritually evolved, manifest higher levels of human potential, and are developmentally precocious. They exhibit higher self-esteem and intelligence test scores, and they are more empathic, emotionally mature, cooperative, creative, affectionate, loving, focused, and self-aware than untreated and traumatized children (Emerson, 1993).

The fact that pre- and perinatal traumas shape how subsequent life events are experienced does not mean that childhood experiences, in and of themselves, are unimportant in terms of human development. On the contrary, childhood experiences are very important in determining and shaping who children will become. It is precisely because childhood experiences are so important that it is vital to free childhood from the bonds of pre- and perinatal trauma. If these traumas can be resolved before childhood, then childhood has the opportunity to be experienced on its own, without traumatic influence from the prenatal period, and without the defensive forces that inhibit feelings of safety, security, and growth. Furthermore, children can be freed to exhibit and manifest their own unique human potential, to utilize their own inherent levels of intelligence, and to become themselves, unencumbered by prior traumas.

In addition to these benefits, society can be freed from the increasing burden of aggression and violence. According to statistics reported at the 1995 APPPAH Congress, violence and aggression are on the rise, and are reaching epidemic proportions. Therapists who specialize in anger resolution report that about one client in five carries a significant degree of anger and rage. Aggression and violence are on the rise, and are extremely costly in terms of human lives, in terms of financial and budgetary considerations (prisons, jails, and law enforcement are very costly, and deprive our school systems of needed finances), and in terms of the safe and efficient functioning of our institutions. These violent feelings are directed toward self and others, and are very difficult to resolve for the following reasons. First of all, most therapists do not realize that anger and rage, at their deepest levels, are caused by pre- and perinatal traumas, and are related to perinatal bonding deficits. Secondly, most clinicians fail to realize that anger and rage cannot be resolved solely by talking therapies. Instead, anger and rage require physical and emotional release. Third, anger and rage are inextricably intertwined with low self-esteem, shame, guilt, disempowerment, and forgiveness. These concepts need to be understood and recognized in the treatment of aggressive disorders. Finally, the ultimate resolution of rage and anger requires that relevant pre- and perinatal traumas be uncovered, encountered, catharted, repatterned, and integrated into consciousness. Additional aspects of treatment should include opportunities for rebonding, i.e., for bonding in ways that were impossible at the time of traumatization, or bonding in ways that were inhibited by unresolved traumas. The Association for Pre- and Perinatal Psychology and Health, the International Primal Association, Pocket Ranch Institute (California), and Emerson Training Seminars (California) have personnel and lists of professionals who do such work.

References

Bloch, G. (1985). Body & self: elements of human biology, behavior, and health. Los Altos, CA: William Kaufmann, Inc.

De Zulueta, F. (1993). From pain to violence. London: Whurr Publishers.

Emerson, W. (1994). :Trauma impacts” audiotaped presentations. Seattle 1992, Petaluma 1992, and March 1993. Emerson Training Seminars.

Emerson, W. (1995a). “The vulnerable prenate.” Paper presented to the APPPAH Congress, San Francisco. Available on audiotape from Sounds True, (303) 449-6229.

Emerson, W. (1993). Treatment outcomes. Petaluma, CA: Emerson Training Seminars.

Emerson, W. (1995/1996). Treating birth trauma during infancy: A series of five videos. Petaluma, CA: Available from Emerson Training Seminars, (707) 763-7024.

Laing, R. D. (1976). The facts of life. New York, Pantheon Books.

Magid, K., & McKelvey, C. (1988). High risk: children without a conscience. New York, Bantam Books.

Piontelli, A. (1992) From fetus to child. New York: Routledge.

Verny, Thomas. (1995). “Working with pre-and perinatal material in psychotherapy.”

Int. J. Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, Vol. 7, No. 3, pgs. 271-284.

Or, if you are curious about my work or about it’s suitability for you or your child, call me for a free half hour telephone consult.

I am available to come and talk to your group in the Bay area.

Call me! 707 829 1764

If we take a look at the medical birthing process we see that it is organized around convenience and control for the doctor. Instead of waiting for the mom to go into labor naturally, doctors can schedule them in and keep everything nice and controlled. One of the problems with induction is that once the mom has been induced she is on the clock, she has 12 hours to get her baby out. She may not have been told this, moms are often not well informed, but this is normal obstetrical practice. This 12 hour period ‘given’ to the mom is a strong factor in the alarming rising level of cesarean sections (c-sect). A c-sect is major abdominal surgery during which your baby is manually removed from your womb. The reason for this is because the earlier you enter the hospital environment in your labor, the more interventions you are likely to receive, and the more you have the more likely you are to end up in surgery. One intervention leads to another, and another, and another. Clearly, there is something not working well here.

Usually induction is administered with a drug called Pitocin, a synthetic form of oxytocin. In a normal birth the baby is the one who initiates the labor, releasing a chemical which begins the contractions. (See Elective Cesarean article for information on sequencing trauma). When baby does not get to start her own labor, she misses a crucial piece of important imprinting that will make it hard for her to start things, and to initiate in her life. She will find it difficult to feel her own impulse. What does this mean? Think about how many times a day you move through the sequence of beginning something, moving through the middle of the activity to the end, finish then integrate at the end. At the very beginning of this process what comes first is the impulse inside of you to do the activity. With an induction imprint this impulse can often not be felt.

Pitocin creates an unrelenting barrage of unnatural contractions. Normal contractions have a natural rise and fall pattern in them with a brief break in between each one.  Pitocin allows no such breaks, and this can be exhausting for both mom and baby. There is a big difference between doing something in your own time when you are ready, and doing it on someone else’s time when you are not ready. People who have been induced can find it difficult to be told what to do, or when to do it.  They can also need someone else to tell them what to do, when. It just depends on how it imprints. They can also have quite a revved up nervous system because of the Pitocin imprint, and you have to wonder about the incredible rise in ADD, ADHD, etc that we are seeing in the US. Could it be that there is a connection between birthing practices, especially use of drugs and interventions, and the problems that are manifesting in our children here?

If you have a choice about receiving an induction, it would be best for you and your baby if you declined the induction. Some moms feel safer having their babies in hospital settings, even though it is just as safe for moms to birth at home with a midwife if they are having a normal pregnancy. If you are one of those moms, get an experienced doula that you can call to come over as soon as you go into labor, and then don’t go to the hospital until you are well dilated (not too far though!). This way you will avoid most of the medical interventions and avoid a c-section.

Another good strategy is to make sure you have a good birth plan, so that when you do get to the hospital you and your team are very clear about the decisions you have made, in advance.

In most cases there is no medical reason for induction, and it is detrimental to your baby’s emotional and psychological well-being.

Here in the US we have shocking levels of unnecessary c-section’s. High levels of medical interventions in birthing are happening routinely in all U.S. hospitals. Jennifer Block (see below) interviewed a number of OB/GYN’s about this issue in her book and it is clear from their responses that c-sections are done for financial and liability reasons, and not because they are actually needed. E.g. if they think a baby is going to have shoulder dystocia during birth they will do a c-section rather than risk a malpractice suit from the parents. This is very shocking and is having a devastating effect on mom’s and babies, and therefore on families and on our culture as a whole. The medical profession has no idea about the psychological, emotional and spiritual effects of these bizarre, highly technologized birthing practices. They have yet to begin to understand both the immediate traumatic effects, and the long-term effects. Those of us, like myself, working in the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology & Health field know a lot about how these practices are affecting birthing mom’s, their baby’s, bonding, and family dynamics.

A new category of c-section has been created by doctor’s called ‘failure to progress’ (FTP). There is a grey zone between ‘emergency’ and FTP c-sections, and these make up a large part

of c-sections. So what does FTP mean? It means that mom has come into the hospital when her labor began, or she has come in to have her labor induced (see Induction article - this is becoming more common and is putting c-section rates up even higher). When birthing in the hospital you are going to be on their clock, obstetricians and labor wards do not understand or operate on ‘baby-time’, they are mostly wanting to speed everything up, get you in and out as fast as possible, and they certainly don’t want to wait for birth to happen naturally in its own time. The earlier you go into hospital in your labor the more medical interventions you are likely to receive. You will receive your epidural, be strapped into a fetal monitor, put on an intravenous drip for fluids because you are not allowed to drink (in case of surgery), and then monitored from afar on a screen at the nurses’ desk.

Already you are taken over by medical interventions, even though you are just at the beginning of your labor and everything is progressing normally. You are in a strange environment with nurses you have never met coming in and out - checking your dilation and giving you vaginal exams. Birthing women need to be free to move around, and to drink, and eat! Moving and changing positions is such an integral part of normal, healthy birthing. Laying on your back is the worse position you can be in to give birth, it impedes the babies descent down the birth canal making it harder both to get your baby out, and for your baby to get out. This position is more convenient for the nurses, and doctor and that is the only reason that they do it.

Mom’s and baby’s needs are less important than the doctor’s. This is very dis-empowering for the birthing family. Mom is not at the center of her birthing in the sense that she is not supported to have an empowering, ecstatic birthing experience, nor to have her baby naturally. Obstetricians and nurses are not supporting her innate knowing that she can do it, and birthing is not seen as a natural and normal life experience. Women are restricted, induced, drugged, and often undermined. These interventions inhibit the extraordinarily deep letting go and opening up that is required to give birth, so it frequently does not progress. For this miracle to happen a woman and baby must be deeply supported and totally empowered in a completely safe environment, with the support of loved ones around her. Some people do manage to have a natural birth in hospital with the help of doula’s and extremely supportive and protective spouses, if they have a very strong desire to have their own birth the way they want it. This takes a lot of work and forethought. Many women never get to experience the incredible power, ecstacy and rite of passage of natural birthing.

Anesthesia has a big affect on baby, the drugs will slow baby down and can impede their impulse to get born, this is why anesthesia can lead to FTP, then a c-section. Outside influences involved in FTP births are the doctor’s schedule and income, the doctor’s schedule and income and the doctor’s schedule and income, and oh yes - malpractice fears. In general you are lucky if you are ‘given’ 12 hours to get your baby out from induction or arrival at hospital. If it is not out you become an FTP, especially if it looks like you are going to go on laboring into the wee hours of the night, or after the time that your surgeon wants to get home for his/her dinner.

In a study on the effectiveness of doula’s, a woman was put in the room with a birthing mom, and she simply sat there, inactive, the whole way through the birth. They concluded that this significantly reduced c-section rates and other medical interventions significantly. Why? Because women need women to be present in a supportive way in the birthing room, the same woman throughout, even if they are not ‘doing’ anything, birthing is much more about ‘being’ and letting go into the baby time zone.

There are some differences between the effects on baby from an elective (see article) and an emergency c-section. To briefly summarize the elective c-section article - baby is the one who begins labor, and it is from this impulse that a chemical is released that starts the contractions. When you have been born with no labor, you lack the ability to feel your own internal impulse - a very important part of the sequencing that affects how we get through our daily life and relationships. A normal sequence is: preparation, impulse to action, our energy/potency builds, begin movement, move through the middle, the end, and to completion, then integration. Most of the things we do involve this sequence. Read the elective c-section article for more detail on this crucial sequencing that comes naturally in a normal, uninterrupted birth and labor.

In the emergency c-sect there has often been some labor, and then something has ‘gone wrong’ causing an ‘emergency’. Sometimes the emergency may occur before labor has a chance to begin. When baby has been able to experience beginning the labor and progressing to a certain stage under her own steam, she will have the healthy and necessary imprinting up to that stage in the sequence. Then she will have the interruption imprint - the surgery. She will be missing parts of the sequence, that part she was unable to complete herself, because she was pulled out by a doctor. On top of that she will have the emergency surgery trauma imprint on top of the sequencing/interruption imprint. It can get complicated, but essentially these kids will have transition issues, may have tactile sensitivity, and have difficulty beginning, ending or completing a full sequence on a daily basis. Transitions can be very revved and emotional. It helps if your baby has had the chance to begin the labor because at least they will have a sense of their own impulse and potency up until the point of interruption. This is not so for elective c-section kids who don’t get to begin, or experience any labor. C-section kids need to get support and understanding with transitioning issues, and they often need to experience a simulated vaginal birth over and over again so that they can get the imprint in their body and nervous system, and complete their birth sequence.

Often in emergency c-section baby will need to be pulled out of the birth canal backwards, sometimes quite forcefully. A physician can also push baby backwards up the birth canal from the top of their head. How they are lifted out, pushed or pulled will be part of their birth imprint. These maneuvers can be quite forceful and fast. There is always a need to speedily and manually clear out baby’s lungs immediately after she has been taken out because there is a risk of respiratory problems. In a normal birth the physical action of going through the birth canal squeezes the fluids out of her lungs so that she can take her first breath when she arrives on the outside. C-section babies come out with their lungs still full of fluids so they can’t breathe on the outside without medical intervention. This procedure - called intubation which means putting a tube down their throat - can be quite traumatic for baby and often causes feeding problems.

Both mom and baby suffer the grief and loss of their birthing dreams in an emergency or FTP c-section, and their deep instinctual needs to both birth and be born have been thwarted. After surgery mom has to go to the recovery room, and baby is not allowed to go with her. The medical profession does not understand the health benefits of keeping mom and baby totally connected to each other, e.g. they will put baby in an electric warmer instead of next to mom’s skin. This separation interrupts bonding, and can cause post-partum depression in the mom, and therefore in baby. If mom is depressed, so is baby. It is becoming more acceptable for dad’s to go off with baby to the nursery after a c-section, and whilst it is an improvement on baby being taken there by a stranger, it has its own problems. The first hour after birth is when the oxytocin is highest and this is for a good reason! Nature is perfect. When baby goes off with dad, she is going to bond with dad, not mom. Later, when mom and baby are reunited it can be very difficult for mom and baby to bond, because baby has already bonded with dad. Dad’s job in this situation is to support mom and baby to bond. Bonding interruptions can affect breastfeeding outcomes.

High intervention medical birthing is not a mom and baby centered process, as I believe birth most certainly should be, and birth is not treated as normal in hospitals, but as an impending medical emergency.

I have sat with many people and witnessed their rage when re-visiting their birth because they were interrupted and not allowed to do it themselves. They felt so strongly that they had it in them to do their own birth. Many feel their birth was taken away from them in this way. We all have this blueprint in us that knows how to do it, moms and babies both get cheated out of that empowering and grounding experience of doing it together and being successful. Birth is very bonding for mom and baby when it happens the way nature intended, and depressing and disempowering when it doesn’t, or if it is interrupted continually.

We are holistic beings with multi-level needs, and many moms are unable to open their bodies to the arrival of their baby because they are not being treated as a whole person who can birth their babies themselves. Doctor’s have made the mistake of believing that they are the ones delivering the baby, this is entirely wrong - moms and babies birth together! We need to get back to supporting mom’s in their own innate ability to do this wonderful, empowering, ecstatic birthing themselves with the right support and environment. Hospitals are for sick people, and birth is normal, it should not be happening in a hospital, nor attended by surgeons.

Read Pushed: The Painful truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block for more insight into this bizarre and frightening phenomenon.

Watch The Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein - a dvd

Many of the issues resulting from being an adoptee are firmly rooted in the prenatal to birth period of development. The prenate (baby before birth) often finds herself in an unwelcoming womb. She may experience a short period of equilibrium in the womb, before her parents discover she is there. On discovery, as these pregnancies are often unplanned, there will be whole gamut of feelings and responses to her presence that will mark the beginning of a turbulent time for this little one. She will be the recipient of all kinds of feelings ranging from “I don’t want you” to “I want you”, to “I want you, but I can’t keep you because ….” and there is often a period of time during which the parents consider abortion as an option before deciding upon adoption. Sometimes the mom will want to keep her baby but will be forced by family members, or by her partner, to give her baby away. There are many dynamics happening around adoptees in the womb, and these have a profound effect on the little one at this formative and vulnerable time.

A mom who is going to give her baby away is very unlikely to bond with him in the womb, or to have much of a positive relationship at all with the child during pregnancy. After all, if she is not going to keep her baby, she is most likely to feel that she cannot, or does not want to, bond with him. In spite of that she and her child are symbiotically connected in every way. Her child feels her feelings, and the lack of bonding and connection leaves a hole in the little one’s development.

Being an unwanted child can be perceived by the prenate as a life threat to which their response would be to go into survival. When we are in survival mode we cannot thrive - it is not possible to do both. Abortion ideation can be part of the prenatal experience for an adoptee, this is when the parents consider abortion. During this time the prenate’s life is under threat and this also causes a survival response that will be a significant part of how they navigate the world. For example, “I cannot show myself because it is dangerous”, “I have to take care of everyone because then they won’t get rid of me”, “I must be quiet so no one knows I am here”, and so on. These become fundamental life patterns. They are not cognitive decisions, we have no cognition at this time of life, they are survival imprints and must not be underestimated in the profound effect they can have on a life. These are core imprints and can be running our lives.

As she approaches birth, this little one knows that when she comes out she will lose her mom. Just try to imagine how you would feel about your birth if you knew that once you arrived you would lose your mom. It is a devastating experience to lose your mom in this way, and leaves the child with deep abandonment issues. Why would this child want to get born if she is going to lose her mom when she arrives? This can set up a great deal of ambivalence in the child, who has probably already spent a lot of time in the womb bathing in her mom’s ambivalence about her being here.

For healthy bonding it is most important that we are with our mom, skin to skin, for the first hour after birth when the oxytocin is flowing strongest. After birth an adoptee is taken away and she has no one to bond to at that crucial time when we most need to be connected to our primary care giver. This is a huge interruption in bonding, and will have consequences. Often the little one will be taken to a nursery or some care center until she is adopted by her new family. Sometimes a baby will wait months with no one to bond to, and this has a deep and profound affect on a person’s ability to have healthy attachment in relationships. As an adoptive parent, if you want your child to fully bond with you, you will need to help her with this bonding interruption and the trauma surrounding it, plus any other dynamics attached to that period of time.

When baby goes to his new family he has already been here for a year or more (9 months in the womb plus however long it took to place him) and yet his new family is most likely to treat him as if he just started his life. In other words, adoptive parents rarely acknowledge the journey, trauma, loss, and devastation that their adopted child has experienced before joining their family. An adopted child has been through enormous loss and trauma, often even before birth. It is rare for adoptive parents to be able to support their new child to integrate their prior experiences. This is not because they don’t want to, it is because we live in a culture that does not acknowledge the consciousness of the little one, and does not therefore include their experience in the way adoption transactions are carried out. In some part, the adoptive family may be projecting their own needs onto their new baby and want to feel as if her life has only just begun from the time they met her so that they can feel more like she is their own child. Although this is not intended to be harmful to the child, it is.

An adoptee will grow up unable to put into words her experiences prior to her adoptive family, but will be profoundly and deeply living them. She will be unable to heal or put them into words without the help of adults to give her some language and empathy. Consequently, these little ones end up living a strange, disconnected kind of second life over the top of their ‘first’ life, which is not considered part of their life any longer by their new family. This makes it harder for them to have a felt sense of who they really are, because their core self is not integrated or acknowledged.

On top of this, adoptees are often raised to be grateful that they were ‘chosen’ or ’saved’ by their new family, and any unhappy feelings or expressions of the earlier trauma - which can be considerable - must be suppressed and may be misunderstood.

Some tips for parents considering adoption:

1. If you can be connected with your child whilst they are still in the womb, this is a great time to bond, and to acknowledge the realities of the situation.
2. Talk to your child in the womb and empathize with them about how this might be for them. Tell them what is going on.
3. Find out as much as you can about the birth mom and dad, and their family and ancestry so that your child can have access to their biological family. Pictures, stories, etc that can be kept and shared when your child is old enough would be great. It also helps to know as much as possible when healing early imprints.
4. Find out about the history of their gestation and see if any healing needs to happen around that. E.g. if their has been abortion ideation, lot’s of stress, tension, trauma in the mom - talk to your baby and support the mom to de-stress and connect with her baby. She may be able to have a connection with her baby that includes the truth of the upcoming separation and empathizes with how that might be for the little one. She may be able to love her baby just for this short time they will be together.
5. If you don’t meet your baby until after birth, find out as much as you can about the biological parents/family, and how the conception, gestation and birth went and think about what might need particular healing and attention.
6. Imagine yourself in the place of this little one and what they have been through, and practice a lot of empathy, holding space for her/him to have their feelings, rage, grief, and sadness as much as they need to express it. Babies need to express their feelings, they need to be listened to just like us!
7. If you are able to be present at the birth of your adoptee, talk to your baby before she comes and tell her what is going to happen long before the birth if possible. E.g. we are going to be there and catch you when you arrive, we are so excited and happy that you are coming. We know you are going to lose your birth mom when you come to us, and we are so sorry about that. We will hold you in that, and love you and never forget where you came from and what you went through to get here and be with us. Use whatever words are appropriate for your situation and comfort.
8. If you are adopting a baby from another country: These children have more complicated layers of trauma and loss to deal with because they have not only lost their mom and biological family, they also lose their culture, their country, and people who resemble them physically. Pay attention to these extra losses with empathy and understanding.

Your adopted child has a much better chance at a healthy self image, and a happy life, if she/he has been supported to integrate his/her early developmental period with understanding and empathy. Include their life before your family and they will have much higher possibilities for happiness, integration, and balance.

If you are already parenting an adopted child, it is never too late to address these early developmental issues. The same is true for those of you who are now adult adoptees.